Memories of You
by Invader Mel1
Summary: Dib looks back on his past, and memories of his mom. Will he learn how to properly deal with his life the way it is, or will tragedy ruin him?
1. Chapter One

Memories of You  
  
Chapter One – Twelve Years Old  
  
Dib looked in the mirror as he prepared for his first day of skool in the sixth grade. His hopes were high of a new beginning of which friends may come. He had been into the paranormal for about eleven years now, and for eleven years he had been friendless. The only person who had ever paid any positive attention to him was his mother, and she had been gone for nearly his whole life. Dib let out a depressed sigh as he trudged away from the mirror. His self-confidence had been lost for the day.  
  
"Mom...can you hear me? I know you're here. I can feel your spirit. I can always tell when you're here now. But how can I go on? I don't have anyone who cares about me. No one. Except for you. Is that all? Will I always have to rely on your spirit for companionship and comfort? Will I always be alone? I'm scared, Mom. I love you. I wonder if Gaz talks to you like I do. She doesn't seem to respond to me when I talk about you or other ghosts, as if she doesn't believe they exist. She might not.  
  
"Maybe losing you was too much for her. Maybe she's just afraid to admit it, and becomes angry. That might be why she avoids me. Does she truly hate me? That can't be, Mom. I know it can't. I don't hate her. I love her. But I never tell her, either. Maybe she thinks I hate her and that I purposefully try to annoy her. But that's not it at all. No. I just want a friend....  
  
"Will I find a friend at skool this year? I thought I had someone in fifth grade, but I lost her because of my stupid obsession! My stupid obsession.... I hate it! I wish I didn't believe in aliens! I wish I didn't believe in ghosts, or Bigfoot or anything else like that! But then again, I wouldn't have you. I can't imagine that.  
  
"I wouldn't give up my memories of you for anything in the world though. Please, just promise me that you'll be here for me. Promise me you won't let go of me, just like I'll never let go of you."  
  
"I promise." Dib knew he heard the words in his own mind, but he had a feeling that they didn't come from his own thoughts. He had been deeply connected with his mother all his life, but never felt all that close to his dad. It seemed like he always had some experiment to attend to.  
  
"That's it. I'm going to tell Gaz I love her this morning, and when I get home, I'm going to make sure Dad hears me. He needs to." Dib walked down the stairs and saw Gaz's door open a trifle. Peering through it, he saw his sister sitting at her bed with a tear down her cheek.  
  
"Gaz?" Dib called to her as he stepped in.  
  
"GO AWAY!" she yelled as she turned her head.  
  
"Gaz, I just wanted to tell you that I –"  
  
"That you WHAT? Caught Bigfoot on tape?!"  
  
"No. I wanted to tell you that I love you." Dib sat down beside her and hugged her. Timorously she placed her arms around her brother and for the first time showed her true emotions toward him. 


	2. Chapter Two

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Two – Eleven Years Old  
  
Dib was standing in line for lunch when a couple kids jumped him and forced the money from him. He took a good beating too, and had trouble getting up. "Let me help you," a girl's voice came from nowhere and he looked up. There was a girl with dark red hair and glasses standing before him. He'd seen her before, but never really paid any attention to her.  
  
"I understand what it's like. I'm made fun of too. But that's horrible! Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, but I don't have any money to get a lunch."  
  
"Here. You can have my lunch money. I'm not hungry anyways."  
  
"Really? Thanks. You're real nice."  
  
"Thank you. What's your name again?"  
  
"Dib. And you...?"  
  
"Nat. Nice to meet you, Dib." They sat together at lunch, and Dib was glad not to be alone for once. He'd sit with Gaz if the fourth and fifth graders got to eat at the same time. The two talked of how kids had made fun of them over the years and what they felt. Near the end of lunch, Nat asked what seemed a simple question, though to Dib it wasn't quite so easy to swallow.  
  
"How are things with your mom, Dib?" A dreary silence hung over the cafeteria. "Dib? What's wrong?"  
  
"I was really close to Mom."  
  
"Oh my God, Dib, did she...?"  
  
"Yes. She died. I was about two or three."  
  
"I'm so sorry...."  
  
"It's okay, Nat. I'm okay."  
  
"Yes, but I hate it when a friend of mine is sad."  
  
"Wait – you consider me your friend?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Wow. You don't know how much that means to me."  
  
"I like you a lot, Dib. I like you as even more than a friend. I love you."  
  
"You...what?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I...love you too." Nat looked at Dib affectionately, and they kissed. "I can't believe this. No one's ever liked me. They always think I'm weird because I study the paranormal."  
  
"You...study the paranormal?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You're a skeptic, right?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't ever get near me again!" Nat slapped his face and stormed off. Some tears fell and clouded up Dib's glasses. He let his face fall to his hands and cried. 


	3. Chapter Three

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Three – Ten Years Old  
  
"Dad...please, answer me this time! Please! I just want you to answer my call!" Dib slammed the phone onto the receiver and redialed the number to his dad's office. "Uh! Busy again! Why don't you have the time...?" He gave up trying to call his dad and instead began to write a letter. "You probably won't ever get the time to read this, but who cares?! That's why I'm writing this stupid thing!" Dib angrily typed out his letter on his brand new laptop and clicked the print button as the data was sent from his computer to the printer. The finished letter read:  
  
1 "Dad –  
  
You never get the time to do anything with me or even talk to me! Weeks go by and I don't even see you! That is, unless that stupid floating screen counts! I want to see you, Dad, and I don't think you realize how miserable I am! I hate it at skool! Everyone hates me, and I don't have any friends! I know you don't believe in the paranormal, but at least you should assure me that it'll be okay! But you don't, because you don't get the time.  
  
The reason the kids hate me is because I believe in the paranormal! Don't they see how wrong that is? Don't you see? Everyone thinks I'm insane, including you. But what about the past, Dad? Intelligent people of way back in the past like Einstein were misunderstood. Like me. You know I'm smart. Don't you get it? I deserve the same respect as anyone else, even if I was stupid. If it was generally accepted that aliens, ghosts, and Bigfoot exist, and you out of very few people in the world, believed they didn't, wouldn't you want the same respect as people like me who do believe in them?  
  
Please Dad, please acknowledge me. I really do love you. I just want to get to know you. I want to feel like you're alive. It's been tough without Mom, and if you're here, things will be a lot better and my life would be so much more pleasant. I really hate to be alone. Please, just listen to my thoughts. If you don't, I think I really will go insane.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Your loving son, Dib"  
  
Dib enclosed the letter in an envelope and labeled it: To Dad, From Dib With Love. He placed it on his dad's most used filing cabinet with a magnet that read: 'My Wonderful Father' that he had given to him for Father's Day the previous year. And as he had presumed, his father never even saw the letter.  
  
Hoping that he'd get the letter and that everything would be fine didn't help much, for Dib knew his dad's record of overlooking important notes he'd left for him. Tucking himself into bed, Dib imagined his mom giving him a kiss goodnight and that everyone was there to make him feel better. He imagined that Gaz was friendly to him and talking to him, his mother hugging and reassuring him, and his father actually listening to his ideas. It was with these thoughts that he fell asleep, but the unsettling knowledge that things would never be that way made him whimper a little before waking. 


	4. Chapter Four

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Four – Three Years Old  
  
Dib awoke and stood up woozily. "Mom!" he called, "Mom, I'm standing! Look at me! Mom! Where are you?" Dib walked down the hall and came across Gaz. She could already talk at two years of age, though presently she was sleeping. "Mom! Mom, look how good I'm walking!" Gaz stirred, and yelled,  
  
"Quiet! I'm sleeping!"  
  
"Mom!" Dib continued on. He found his mom collapsed on the kitchen floor with a shattered vase adjacent to her form. "MOM! GAZ! MOM'S HURT! What's the number you call?!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Wait, I know it!" Dib dragged the phone by its cord and it fell on his head upon flying off the counter. He dialed 9-1-1 and shouted, "Mom's hurt! She's on the floor! Hurry!" Paramedics hurried over to their house, which, coincidentally, wasn't that far. They shouted things to each other that were too quick and slurred together for Dib to comprehend. Things around him swirled and spun, and it felt as if he'd just stepped out of reality. Promptly, he fainted.  
  
Upon opening his eyes, Dib saw the paramedics gathered around him. Immediately, he shouted, "Mom! Mom! What's wrong?!"  
  
"I'm very sorry, kid, I don't know how to tell you this, but...she's gone. She died."  
  
"What happened?!"  
  
"She had a concussion. Do you know what that is?"  
  
"Yes. How?"  
  
"She was hit over the head. Someone hit her over the head."  
  
"But we're the only ones here."  
  
"Apparently you weren't alone during the night. Did you hear anything?"  
  
"No." They carried her off in the ambulance, covered her up, and took her to the mortuary to bury. He was later informed that the ceremony would take place the following week. Dib cried as he saw them leave, and Gaz walked up to him.  
  
"Where are they taking Mom? Is she getting better?"  
  
"No. She died."  
  
"You stupid idiot! This is all your fault!" Gaz kicked him and screamed into his face. "You didn't listen to me! I told you not to bring up your stupid obsession!" Dib had told his dad for that he believed in the paranormal, though his mom had known for quite some time. His mom had confessed to believing in the paranormal too, and they'd gotten into a fight about it. Gaz didn't really care, but decided to side with their dad because he was intent on convincing them that it was all ludicrous. It was at that one moment in time that he had shown that he favored Gaz. Before all that Dib had been the family favorite, though their mother loved them all equally.  
  
What Dib didn't know was that that night when he was asleep, Gaz awaken from them fighting. It was unusual, so it had startled her. She had heard her mother cry out, and then become silent. Gaz fell asleep long after with fear entwined with her soul. 


	5. Chapter Five

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Five – Four Years Old  
  
"Mom...Mom, I love you. What happened? According to the security system, no one broke in. What happened? Who hit you on the head? I need to know." Dib clutched the photograph he carried of his mother everywhere he went. He was sitting on a swing, alone, when Gaz approached him.  
  
"Dib, I have something to tell you about Mom."  
  
"What? Gaz, do you know who did it?"  
  
"Yes. Sit down."  
  
"I already am."  
  
"On the ground. You'll pass out when I tell you this. That was the night you told Dad you believed the paranormal. He was mad. They had an argument when you were asleep. I heard a vase crash and Mom shriek. I heard a thump, like someone falling. Dib, I think Dad killed her."  
  
"No! He'd never do that! He couldn't! No! Why are you even saying this?!"  
  
"He didn't mean to. Just an accident."  
  
"But...if it was an accident, why'd he not say something?"  
  
"Because, he hit her on the head with a vase. That's against the law."  
  
"No! It can't be true! I won't believe it!"  
  
"You tell me I'm closed-minded because I don't believe in the paranormal, but you're the one being closed-minded."  
  
"NO! You must've dreamed it! It's impossible! It's wrong! It's not true! Mom! Mom! Mom, please answer me! Tell me the truth! Tell me how you died! I love you Mom!" Dib shouted out into the sky and then fell down onto the ground. Lying out in the grass, he sobbed and kept crying out, "Mom! Mom, I love you! Don't go! I love you...." Gaz left him and went to her room. 


	6. Chapter Six

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Six – Six Years Old  
  
Dib put down the book he was reading. Mysterious Mysteries was on in five minutes. Five minutes wasn't much time, but it was enough time to write a letter.  
  
"Dear Mysterious Mysteries:  
  
I know that you usually investigate the paranormal, but I've got a mystery that has to do with the murder of my mom and it involves the paranormal, too. Please, I'm six years old and she died when I was two. Three years ago, my sister Gaz confessed that she had heard our parents arguing and a vase crashing and my mom scream. She thinks my Dad gave her the concussion that led to her death. She said that he may not have intended to kill her, but that doesn't seem likely. If he didn't mean to, then why wouldn't he aid her after hitting her with the vase? All I know is that I love my mom and that I communicate with her spirit each day. I love her with all my heart, and nothing will prevent me from turning my attention away from solving the mystery of her murder. Even if an alien came to try and conquer the world. That's how much I love her. She was the only person who ever listened to me and believed me about my theories of the paranormal and she's the only person who's believed me and really cared about me. To solve this mystery would mean the world to me, and I won't rest until her spirit is conciliated.  
  
Please put me on your show so I can learn once and for all what happened to her. After all, both investigators of the paranormal and of science share my ultimate goal: The search for truth. I'm also very lonely because of my obsession.  
  
My dad is a world-renowned scientist who constantly talks of my outgrowing belief in aliens one day, but that's not true. The truth is, he has only seen people who aren't very serious about it and some of the nuts and idiots. I'm different. I'm not either of those. I'm intelligent, and I'm not blinded by my beliefs when investigating the paranormal.  
  
It was the day I told my dad that I believed in aliens that he got upset. The whole family got into an argument the day before, and Gaz can vouch for the argument during the night. I just wish I didn't feel so alone. I want to feel like my mom is avenged, or I'll never rest. Please pay consideration to this letter. I am about to watch your show right now, and I am so desperate for some help. I love my mom, and I always will.  
  
With high hopes,  
  
Your #1 fan and the saddest kid on Earth, Dib"  
  
Dib labeled the envelope and walked outside to put it in the mailbox. He closed his eyes and held it to his heart for a moment. "I love you, Mom...." He placed it inside and ran into the house. Once the opening credits began, he wept because he used to watch the show with his mother every day. Instead, he turned the television off and began to write another letter.  
  
"Mom –  
  
It's me, Dib. The son you loved so much. But what about now? What do I do now? I'm not going to grow up with you there to guide and love me. No one loves me now. What to do? I dream that you're back here, and I show you what I've been up to. When I wake up, I wish I never had woken up. I sometimes wish I was dead too. I want to be with you, Mom! No matter what it takes! If it means my life, I'll do it! I'll do anything to be with you! I won't be able to record the rest of my thoughts because in a few minutes I'll be with you. My physical being will no longer be. I'll be with you. I'll do anything to be with you! My life is not my life without you. If you can't return, I'll have to go after you."  
  
Dib reached for a knife in the kitchen and held it up to his face. He checked the blade to make sure it was sharp enough. Just at that moment, Gaz walked in. "What are you doing with that?"  
  
"I...just...don't stop me! I want to die!"  
  
"Dib, don't!"  
  
"Why not?! Mom's gone, and she's not coming back! I want to be with her! I want to be with someone who cares! I love her!"  
  
"I understand why you're doing this. I tried to last week, but Mom stopped me."  
  
"You tried to kill yourself?! Gaz, don't do that! No! You can't kill yourself!" Dib dropped the knife on the floor and ran to Gaz. He hugged her firmly and tears fell from his eyes.  
  
"Why not? With you too, we'll be one big happy family."  
  
"Gaz, what are you saying?!"  
  
"I'm saying what you were thinking." Gaz showed Dib the scar on her neck. "See? Look, Dib, Mom saved me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I drove the knife deep into my throat. I should be dead now. But the gash suddenly healed, and now all there is left is this scar. She doesn't want us to die."  
  
"I want to die! I don't want to live like this! With Mom gone and Dad at work all the time and having no friends and you not liking me, I'm alone! You don't know how it is being alone!"  
  
"I'm in exactly the same position."  
  
"Gaz, I like you. I love you. How could you think that I don't?"  
  
"However you think that I don't like you. I love you."  
  
"Thank you, Gaz. You've saved my life. I don't know how to repay you."  
  
"Try to be happy."  
  
"I'll try." When Gaz left, he retrieved the letter and put it in a box for safekeeping. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Memories of You  
  
Chapter Seven – Twelve ½ Years Old  
  
Dib was looking through his old documents and he came across his letter to Mysterious Mysteries from when he was six years old. Upon reading it, he gasped. He had gotten carried away in saving the Earth. Dib remembered his solemn vow to avenge his mother before anything else, even if an alien was trying to conquer the planet.  
  
"Mom...please forgive me. I will solve your murder, no matter what it takes. I love you, and I always will. I love you so much." He got out paper and began to write another letter.  
  
"Mom –  
  
No matter what happens, I know that you'll be there for me. I once tried to commit suicide, I remember. I was wrong, and very foolish. Another time I thought I was in love, but she refused me after finding out that I was into the paranormal. I realize now that I should not love her, because she closed her mind. I have suffered a many disputes with my beloved sister Gaz, and she still does not know how much I cherish her. I will tell her the first thing after writing this letter. Dad is still ignoring me, but, sadly, I'm used to it. I've gotten over your death, though I still mourn deeply. My love for you will never perish, as long as I live. You're the best mom any kid could ever have, and I am no longer the saddest kid on Earth."  
  
He walked to Gaz's room, and she wasn't crying, nor was she smiling. She just sat at her bed staring at the ceiling in a downcast way. "Gaz? Gaz, can I come in?"  
  
"Leave me ALONE, Dib!" Dib proceeded unheedingly toward her.  
  
"Gaz, I really do love you. I cherish you more than anyone or thing else. I just want to hug you and tell you that. Because even though Mom died and Dad ignores us, we're still here, and we're together. I love you, and I don't want you to forget that."  
  
"Thanks." He sat down beside her and embraced her. She returned the gesture both gratefully and willingly. Dib smiled blissfully, and he knew that his mother was finally at rest. 


End file.
